Polyamorous Couples & Ethical Nonmonogamy.
In any open or poly relationship, there are going to be unanticipated challenges that can be effectively navigated. You may have certain expectations from your loved one at the outset, but your relationship has since evolved. Adapting to shifts in you or your partners needs can be difficult. Open communication, active listening, and ongoing negotiations are vital for establishing mutual consent, trust, and honoring each other’s boundaries, wants, and needs.
Unexpected Relationship Conflicts
Couples who have an open, non-monogamous or polyamorous orientation can feel a liberating sense of freedom that would otherwise be confining under traditional monogamy. It can alleviate some of the pressures that many monogamous couples encounter, especially the expectation that you alone must be everyone for your partner or meet all of their romantic, sexual, and plutonic needs. Nonetheless, unexpected problems can arise that may lead to jealousy, resentment, low self-worth, or distrust. You may want more time with your partner and hadn’t anticipated the connection that your loved one has developed with another person; maybe you are questioning if your partner still loves you or cares for you in the same way they did in the initial stages of your relationship; perhaps you feel suffocated in the relationship and are seeking balance with your romantic partner. Feeling undesirable or that your romantic or sexual needs are not being met can take an emotional toll. These can all be difficult challenges that lead to feeling distant from your partner, unsupported, or alone in your relationship.
Re-establishing Consent & Ongoing Negotiation
In any relationship, communication and openness is key. A healthy non-monogamous or poly relationship requires a certain level of attunement and conscientiousness toward your partner, and a willingness to express wants and needs at the outset. My role is to assist you in identifying and expressing feelings and unmet attachment needs with one another. Treatment will also focus on providing you with the tools to practice patience as you listen and truly empathize with any sadness, fear, anger, or uncertainty your loved one is experiencing. The ability to express needs and empathize with your partner is vital to establishing mutual consent in the relationship. This level of attunement and empathy will prepare you to effectively negotiate a balance that feels fair, promotes trust, and increases your connection and bond with one another. Given the considerations that come along with having more than one intimate partner, emotional honesty is paramount. Thus, an important aspect of couples therapy is to share your concerns with your loved one regularly. This will allow you both to effectively negotiate wants and needs on an ongoing basis. It’s important to take ownership of how you feel, especially when you are looking to set boundaries and navigate feelings of safety.